This is a letter by a son to his parents. If you don’t have a sense of humor please
don’t bother to read. It won’t get you anywhere.
Dear Parents
Sub: Sin and get relegated to India.
I am appalled by your ignorance! Did you not know that Gods
had designated India as the country of rebirth for sinners from around the
earth (or may be even aliens) to repay for their ill deeds? That was of course only till May last year.
Gods seem to have since altered the fortune of India as pronounced in Shanghai
(so let me call it the Shanghai Proclamation) and assigned some other country
for sinners to be relegated to, to acquire citizenship by virtue of rebirth.
After all sins continue to be committed and sinners continue to die and take
rebirth.
Had you not been ignorant, you both could have easily avoided
the cursed jurisdiction tag for me by flying to Shanghai to give birth to me.
And if Shanghai visa was difficult to get in those days, you could have flown
to London, New York, Toronto or any other part of the world (it was a favourite
for many in 1980-90s) where so many children are born to Indian parents. I
would have still been of Indian origin but having born outside India I would
have escaped the stigma of being called a sinner of previous life. Just because
you gave me birth in India (and that too in a dusty and good-for-nothing town in
Haryana of all places) I have become a sinner by assumption (we call it a legal
fiction in legal parlance).
It is not God’s fault but yours. If you could not afford to
travel far away, you could have simply taken a bus to Nepal. Actually you could
have walked to Nepal. You walked for days when you migrated from Rodhu Sultan
in Pakistan during partition to come and live in the country inhabited by
sinners of previous birth. You asked for it, didn’t you? If you had stayed back
I would have been born in Pakistan but then that was not all right because that
was also once India. I don’t know how
Gods negotiated the India-Pakistan sinners jurisdiction issue up there when
British were re-drawing physical boundaries down here. But then any place outside
of India would have been right to result from your wedlock my dear parents. Shanghai
was a preferred choice only because it would have given me the pleasure of
listening live and applauding, to the Shanghai Proclamation. And I could have
been suited-booted.
I am upset you did not teach me to curse my own country when
I returned from a wonderful overseas trip to honking traffic, garbage piled up
on roadside and the dust hanging in the air? Not to mention the long
immigration queues and endless wait at luggage belts to collect bags before
that (T-3 by the way is quite recent). You, my parents, have let me down. Why
did you prompt me to fly back home at the first opportunity from my overseas
business trips to be back in my country or make me turn down a high profile
assignment with a multilateral body just because it required me to relocate to
the capital of the most powerful nation on the earth? I could have been richer
and perhaps have a more fashionable passport. That would have been a good
bargain for a sinner of previous birth. Why did you teach me to respect all
religions, bow when I pass a temple, mosque or church, touch the feet of my
elders, stand up for national anthem, not breach traffic signals, obey rules,
and be a proud Indian! I protest! I accuse you of not letting me be ashamed of
being an Indian all these years. Did you not know sinners of previous birth are
serving punishment in their next life and they are meant to be bad people? I hold
you responsible for making me think I am a proud Indian. I protest vehemently!
I have another complaint. Even when we were confronted by
demoralizing episodes, from minor (such as, when my brand new Mercedes Benz was
scratched on the very day I drove it out of the showroom or when I got stuck
for hours on Delhi ring road traffic for uncountable times, hungry and thirsty,
in the 1990s or when the “House Full” sign predictably appeared outside cinema
halls on every Friday while the tickets were sold outside in “2 ka 4, 2 ka 4”
with impunity or when it took months to obtain a passport and even longer to
get a phone or gas connection or when our bags were frisked empty by customs at
airport or when “sifarish” culture was at its peak) to significant events (such
as when the 1984, 2002 and other riots shook the earth under my feet,
demolition of Babri Masjid made me hang my head in shame, regular scandals and
scams eroded my faith, assassination of our leaders created global concerns
about India and many such other major events took place) you taught me to continue
to have faith in the country. You could
have easily comforted me by reminding me that it is a country of habitual
sinners. Instead you taught us to read Gita, fight injustice and agitate for my
lawful rights and be compassionate to the poor, fight the system and its flaws
but not curse the country.
Dear parents, I am confused. Should I wipe off my over-four
decade history of being a proud Indian and start believing that I was ashamed
of being an Indian all these years? About future I have no doubt because the
fortune of India and Indians has changed and “achhe din” are here. (Refer the
Shanghai Proclamation)
I can still hear the loud applause that followed the
Shanghai Proclamation. Your reply, my
parents, I am afraid will be lost in the din. So please don’t bother to reply. But I am
relieved that India is now liberated. We no longer need to believe that we were
sinners. I am happy for my children. I am happy for every child. Thank you dear Prime Minister.
Your obedient son
Indian (Born & Living in India)
