From the Deepest Bottom of the Pit. An Untold Story
A painful story of humiliation inflicted on
a 15 year-old boy that bruised his soul, scarred his confidence, dwarfed his self-esteem
and wounded his tender mind, refusing to subside or even hide under layers
after layers of time, success, fame and happiness.
We
all wonder if there has been an upsurge in incidents of brutalities on students
by their teachers in recent times, blaming almost everything and everyone, from
the degradation of society to deterioration of education system, from
negligence of school managements to irresponsible teachers, for the tragic
occurrences. The harsh and equally sad truth is that such deplorable acts have
been practiced in our system from time immemorial. They were accepted by
parents as an essential part of the disciplinary system, or ignored, overlooked
or tolerated out of fear or respect for teachers and school managements. Reputed
schools competed to stay on the top. The pressure of good scores was enormous;
no compromises were to be made. Protesting was unthinkable. No one, not even parents ever dared to question
the methods or cared to find out how the atrocious treatment affected the
impressionable, helpless, vulnerable young minds. It is our silence of years
that must also share the responsibility for the state of affairs.
This
is that “once upon a time story” - the story of one such boy, one such teacher,
one such school, in one such times.
There
was this growing boy - a prolific reader, fascinated equally by literature and
history. He had little interest in other
subjects, in particular in mathematics, which he found difficult to grasp. Yet
he realized it was necessary to score well in all the subjects. And he did
somehow manage to do well. All was fine
till he earned promotion to matriculation in a reputed school considered
amongst the best in town. Here began the
most dreadful year of his life. Suddenly, there was an enormous pressure to
excel in each subject. Mathematics score had to be cent percent. The school was famous for being the top in
the region in the matriculation results of CBSE board. The tender mind of the boy, that loved to
spend time dreaming, reading classic literature and writing poetry, found itself
struggling with the stress to excel in science and mathematics. The peer pressure
was simply overwhelming. His state was only perpetuated by the horrendous
attitude of his math teacher and apathy of school principal.
The
mathematics teacher, a rude elderly man, soon took a dislike to the boy.
Without making any effort to investigate why the boy failed to stay upto speed
in class or fare well in class tests, he started questioning the boy’s intelligence
and abilities. Slowly, his treatment of the boy became targeted and personal.
His attention shifted from teaching the boy to ridiculing him. Every day,
without fail, the teacher would remember to remind the boy in full glare of class,
and sometimes in presence of other teachers and the principal, that he was
good-for-nothing, systematically demolishing his youthful confidence and
self-esteem, breeding contempt for the subject, teacher and the school. Soon it acquired a dimension where the boy stopped
making any effort to learn the subject. This was more out of resistance and
protest or perhaps to deliberately annoy the teacher than owing to lack of
abilities. The hatred was now mutual and enjoyable on both sides.
The
teacher decided it was time to take the dislike to the next level. Corporal
punishment was added to the verbal reprimands and mocking. Humiliation and
mental torture were intensified. What
started as orders to “stand on the bench” to “turn murga” to “stand outside the
class” soon graduated to spanking with the steel scale on the knuckles, open
palms, writs and bare thighs. It became
an every day affair. For a young boy, to
be humiliated every day and being mocked by being made to stand on the desk or
outside the classroom, holding ears or postured as a “murga” every single day,
without exception, on slightest provocation, and left to face the dirty glares
of the principal-on-round and passing-by teachers, mocking glares of girls students,
and blatant teasing by class fellows was no less than being made to undress in
front of the entire school. This shattered his confidence. The pain of
humiliation soon became unbearable and the boy started planning an escape.
Thus
began the next few months of lies, indiscipline and cheating. The boy started
finding excuses to not attend school. On
the day he was unable to find an excuse, he started bunking school, loitering
around or watching a movie all morning and concocting a leave application the
following day to the school. At home, he
would study all subjects and complete homework except mathematics. This was now a psychological battle between
an experienced teacher and a student pushed to the wall.
One
day the boy’s parents were summoned to the school and informed that their son
would not be allowed to sit in the board exam because if he failed or scored
less it would compromise the school position. The boy was devastated. He was
confident he would do well notwithstanding the absence from classes. It was the
mathematics teacher who never let him sit in the class or made an effort to
appreciate that mathematics was not meant for the boy and to let him be.
Perhaps a softer approach may have helped in generating some interest in the
subject. It was not that he was not capable. The decision was final and no
amount of persuasion would change the school decision.
The
boy had to miss his board exams. He refused to go back to the same school for
repeating the tenth class. He dreaded
the thought of having to face the same demon of a mathematics teacher and an
insensitive principal. Then there was also shame of failure, the tag of having
been disallowed to sit in board exam. The boy asked his parents to move his schools.
Not an easy task. Who would want to admit a student who had not been allowed to
sit in the board exam?
Then
arrived this messiah! The principal of one of the schools agreed to meet this
boy. She talked to him for a few minutes and decided to admit him. On the first
day of the opening of the school, she summoned the boy to her room, handed over
the newspaper of the day to him and said, “boy, you will read the headlines to
the assembly today.” The boy was aware it
was a daily ritual for someone from class X to be randomly asked to read out the
headlines to the assembly. Those who
were good at it were asked to read regularly. It was considered to be a
privilege and students vied for it.
However, the boy never expected it would be him, on the very first day. He
was not prepared for this. His
confidence was at the lowest. There was no way he could do this, he thought.
The Principal, as if reading his thoughts, looked into his eyes and said, “go
boy, I know you can do this. ”
The
boy mustered courage and quickly penned down the headlines on a page. Fifteen
minutes later, he stood before the assembly, his legs shaking. As he started
reading, he felt his voice trembled too. But in a few seconds, he found his
voice stabilized and legs steady. He
finished reading on a note of confidence. He turned to look at the principal.
She nodded her head in approval.
The
boy walked back to his class, feeling a steak of pride ignite somewhere deep
within. In some strange way, he felt this walk back was in fact going to be a
walk into future…into a new phase of life. That one episode, of being trusted,
of being believed in, of being told, “yes, you can do it”, had changed
everything for him. How can two teachers
be so different in their approach? One tried to demolish every seed of
confidence in him; the other sowed one on the very first day. One teacher tried
to destroy the boy; the other saved him.
In the next few days, life changed for the boy. He was all over, in the cricket team, batting
first down, participating in co-curricular activities, studying, and studying
well. His confidence was back; his self-esteem
restored. He passed the board exams with flying colours, with distinction in social
science. Mathematics score was
respectable too. For the boy, she was God sent! The boy’s faith was restored. But
the pain subsisted. Still subsists!
The
boy went on to earn distinctions scoring a top position in different subject
every year in college and university.
Ironically, mathematics stayed by his side as he went on to become a “financial”
lawyer of global repute. But, the painful memory of shame and humiliation
inflicted on a 15 year-old boy that bruised his soul, scarred his confidence,
dwarfed his self-esteem and wounded his tender mind refuses to subside or even
hide under layers after layers of age, time, success, fame and happiness.
Note:
The mathematics teacher died from ill health a few years ago. The principal who asked the boy to read news
headlines to the assembly retired long ago. The boy is still in touch with her. The school
that denied the boy to sit in the board exam is no longer considered amongst
the best in town. The boy? The likes to wear his hats!
