Can
we get a “hands-off-the-crotch” legislation please?
As in Italy,
where scratching groin is linked to the phrase "io mi tocco i…", or
"I touch my…", used in much the same way as "touch wood" is
used in English, India must too have some fascinating and inspiring, yet-to-be-discovered-convention,
to the Indian men reaching out to their genitals so liberally in public places.
Why else wouldn’t men leave their crotch
alone in public? Can someone take up this as a subject of thesis please? You will be doing a great service to this
nation by revealing the mystery behind this pan-India phenomenon.
Anywhere and everywhere – on streets, railway stations,
airports, cinema halls, cricket fields, one can find men reaching down to their
crotch and freely reshuffling their private parts while their body twists and
turns in most audacious postures regardless of innocent bystanders; completely
disregarding children and women of all ages, even animals around. I know of one
senior lawyer who indulges in this act quite prominently even in a court room
while arguing. He is a matter of joke in the entire bar!
Is there more to this ridiculous activity then what meets the
eyes? Some men may argue that scratching
the crotch in public is a harmless and instinctive reflex with no sexual
offence meant. Well, it is surely not
that innocent, my dear fellow-men. Manipulating
your genitals in full public glare can by no means be termed innocent. On the
contrary, it is nothing short of an appalling behaviour.
While I agree that in some cases it may merely be a result of a craving for some long deprived
soap and water to that out-of-reach part of the body while you are bathing. In some cases, it may be an innocent act of compulsive,
involuntarily movement, probably to adjust the overalls. Others may simply be providing momentary respite to a precious part under captivation
of an undersized under pant. For some it
is a harmless habit. For a few it might be akin to women adjusting their bra? But,
dear men, can you please not dig for gold in your own time and leave others alone?
I have yet to see a woman indulging in anything remotely similar to this pass-time
activity men indulge in, in public.
Then there are those for whom reaching out to their crotch in
public is an act of manly-hood and nothing to do with sex. They will do it as casually in presence of
women as in presence of men only. To them this is as casual an act as of including
choicest of abuses as an integral part of their normal day-to-day vocabulary. Then
there is top-most rank of crotch-scratchers who would do this intentionally when
a woman is around as an invitation for sex or to convey the imagination-mode their
perverse mind is in at the given moment.
The rules of social etiquette require all of us to abstain
from doing anything that might be considered offensive to public decorum. And we
don’t need convent education to learn basic norms of social co-existence. But
then who cares about public decency when much more outrageous acts by public
figures are condoned by blind followers be they be in social, religious or
political field. But the fact remains
that it is a sinister behaviour which is contrary to public and socio-ethical
behavioural rules. Indian men must abstain from any conduct potentially
offensive to collectively-held feelings of decorum.
Let me
not forget to mention that in Italy, while there are centuries old superstitions
linked with this activity, crotch-scratching was outlawed by its courts in
2008. The
country’s court issued a “hands-off” ruling which threatens to fine anyone
caught touching or reshuffling below the belt. Judges in the case were helpful enough
to suggest that would-be crotch criminals wait until they are the privacy of
their own home before letting their hands wander.
Shameless
crotch-scratching must be criminalised. Are our Parliamentarians listening or
do we need the court to intervene in this matter too?
